AAAUUGHHHHHHH WHYYYYYYYY didn’t I put it in the food processor?!?!?!! That way there wouldn’t be awkward disgusting grains of rice in my brownies. I DON’T FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THIS I AM SO STUPIIIIDDDDDDDD
Ok back to the recipe. But really, I am stupid.
With my leftover Oreo rice, I did the only thing I know how with chocolatey starchy goops: turn them into brownie batter.
Not to be confused with this banana ice cream, which got the “CRAP!” tag. This version is delicious.
Reviews: “That looks so good!”
“I have six dozen bananas in my freezer”
2 frozen solid, very ripe bananas
Dash of vanilla extract
~4 tbsp instant chocolate mousse (or pudding) mix
2 tbsp heavy cream
1 tbsp milk
Banana tips for great success!
They should be brown and spotty when you freeze them.
Peeling frozen bananas is one of the most miserable kitchen tasks you will ever attempt. So instead, take the peels off before you freeze them, and put the naked ‘naners in a freezer bag. Really. It’s worth the extra 20 seconds.
Break up the bananas into chunks and deposit them into the food processor. Run it on high just long enough to break them into evenly-sized, grainy, still-frozen bits. No more than 5-6 seconds. (The goal is to not let them melt.)
Add the rest of the ingredients and spin it on high until it’s the consistency of ice cream. You’ll probably have to stop once or twice and scrape the sides of the bowl down. As soon as it looks like ice cream, STOP. Do not overprocess, or it will turn into a thick partially-melted smoothie.
Put it into a tupperware with a tight-sealing lid, and stash it in the freezer for 15-30 minutes to firm up a little. I recommend stirring before you eat.
Preheat your oven to “medium.” This is what Argentine oven knobs look like, so I have no idea what temperature this is.
Mix the mashed ‘naners with the sugar, eggie-poo, yogz and vanilly. Whisk thoroughly. In a second bowl, mix together the dry ingredients (flour, Arm & Hammer, bath salts, and spices).
Bring the dry and wet together in a union of eternal power and world domination. Mix only to combine – do not overmix this shizz.
May I take a moment to mention how nice it is to have US standard measuring cups at home now?
In a baby bowl, mix together the cinn and sug to make the swirlie-whirlie.
Did you prep your loaf pan by buttering and flouring it? If so, pour in half the batter. Sprinkle a thick layer of the cinnsugswirl mixture over the batter in the pan, and then pour the rest of the batter over the top. Sprinkle oats over the top to make it look pretty.
Take it to the oven for no idea I didn’t time it like 45 minutes?
Welcome to my first crappy food post. This was adapted from Alton Brown’s Banana Ice Cream, which looked like a good way to use up frozen yellow light sabers…until I put in too many bananas and made too many bad substitutions.
Reviews “Is it a smoothie?”
About 6-7 frozen bananas
1 tbsp lemon juice
2/3 c light corn syrup
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 c half-and-half
1/2 c nonfat vanilla Greek yogurt
2/3 c walnuts
Make sure the core of your ice cream maker is in the freezer. (This is the ice cream version of “preheat your oven to 350.”) Take your bananas out of the freezer and let them thaw on the counter.
Once the bananas look good and disgusting, assemble your ingredients and take a photo.
Dump those bananas in a food processor with the lemon juice and vanilla. Pulse a few times, then open the lid and add in the corn syrup. Spin some more, then open up and dump in the half-and-half and yogurt. Don’t pour them in gradually like Alton Brown suggests because who has the time or patience for that crap.
**For the record: I didn’t see that the yogurt was non-fat!!
At this point, the food processor will start leaking because you put way too much in it. Good job.
Pour the goop into a 1-quart Pyrex bowl – and since you just made ice cream, you’ve already learned that the machine can only take a quart of liquid! So you’ll fill that Pyrex up to the 1-quart line. Chill it in the fridge for 2 hours.
>> What to do with the rest of the mixture? Make crappy cristally ice cream. Just put the leftover puree into a tupperware, pop it in the freezer, and stir every hour until it freezes.
When you’re ready to churn, assemble your robot and gradually pour in the ice cream mixture. Let it churn according to the manufacturer’s instructions, and while it’s working, toast the walnuts over medium/medium-high heat for 5 minutes (then set them aside). Do not skip toasting or you will be ruining an already bad dessert.
Your ice cream should still be churning, so it’s time to assemble the cheesecake swirl. Mix together the cream cheese, sour cream, sugar, and cocoa powder in a small bowl until very smooth.
Once the ice cream is ready, fold in all but 2-3 tbsp of the walnuts before you release it from cryofreeze. Dump it into an oh-so-cute tupperware (look how nice it fits) and then schlop on globs of the cheesecake mixture all around the top. Use a butter knife to swirl the globs so that it makes a pretty fudge swirl. Decorate the top with the remaining walnuts, and put it in the freezer to harden for 3 hours or so.
Verdict: half-and-half plus nonfat yogurt do not an ice cream make. They make creamy banana sorbet. Not sure if the walnuts and cheesecake swirl offer any redemption.