Cinnamon Raisin Chia Seed Pudding

Adapted from Minimalist Baker.


I made the original chocolate version later, but forgot to take pics.  I’ll give you both recipes.


“I don’t like it…I’m sorry”
– Leandro

Cinnamon Raisin

1 1/4 cups soy milk
1/3 cup chia seeds
1 1/2 tbsp honey (my soy milk was sweetened…you might need more sweetener than I did)
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 tbsp raisins

Blend everything together and let it run for a few minutes until it’s all smooth.  Pour it into cute little jars and let it sit in the fridge for a few hours to set.  (Just like real pudding.)

This is what an empty blender looks like

Chocolate (no pics, but it pretty much looks like chocolate pudding)

1 1/2 cups soy milk
1/3 cup chia seeds
2 tbsp brown sugar (my soy milk was sweetened…you might need more sweetener than I did)
1 tsp vanilla
pinch of salt
1/4 cup cocoa powder

Procedure is the same as above.

More cinnamon raisin money shots:



Cinnamon Raisin Chia Seed Pudding

Oreo Zatar

I made it.

Featuring: melted oreo cream, chocolate peanut butter, and chocolate cake


In your honor, Katrina.


My Oreo quest is now complete.

Oreo Zatar

Oreo Rice Banana Brownies

What to do with leftover Oreo rice?  The only thing I know how with

AAAUUGHHHHHHH WHYYYYYYYY didn’t I put it in the food processor?!?!?!!  That way there wouldn’t be awkward disgusting grains of rice in my brownies.  I DON’T FORGIVE MYSELF FOR THIS I AM SO STUPIIIIDDDDDDDD

Ok back to the recipe.  But really, I am stupid.

With my leftover Oreo rice, I did the only thing I know how with chocolatey starchy goops: turn them into brownie batter.

With chocolate milk powder on top, because I’m disgusting


4 oz semisweet chocolate
3 tbsp butter
1 egg
1 mashed banana
1/3 c sugar (half brown, half white)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 batch Oreo rice


Melt the chocolate and butter in the microwave and mix them together.  Let it cool a minute and then mix in the egg and sugar.  Stir in the mashed banana and vanilla.

Mix in the Oreo rice.  If you aren’t as stupid as me, you would run it through the food processor first so that you don’t have huge nasty-ass chunks of rice in your nice brownies.

Bake in a buttered 8×8-inch pan at “medium-low” for about 25 minutes.


Very moist and chocolatey, but about as tasty as you would expect a brownie full of rice to be.  Not sure I will serve this to anyone.

Oreo Rice Banana Brownies

Oreo Rice (CRAP)

I’m sorry, Mom.  My Oreo rice wasn’t good.  I guess I wasn’t the right person to carry out your dream.

I let you down.



Oreo rice photo journal

Step 1. Gathering the ingredients.

Oh, yeah – I substituted soy milk for milk.  That might have had something to do with it.

Step 2. Butter in a pan…waiting for some rice grains which it can lovingly coat.


Step 3. Rice + soy milk in the pot.

Forgot to stir the rice in the butter, which made for some nice sticking later.

Step 4. Once boiling again, added the Oreos.

This photo is upside-down but I am too lazy to fix it

Step 5. After letting it cook covered for 15 minutes.  Didn’t add enough soy milk from the start, so I had to supplement with more and leave it to cook for a while longer.

Ever had your house smell like rice and Oreos at the same time?  I have.

Step 6. Eating my disappointment.


I topped mine with dulce de leche.  The white stuff was more soy milk that I poured on top in an attempt to make it creamier.  (It was unsuccessful.)


Oreo Rice (CRAP)

Oreo Potato Chip Brownies (Weird)

My second attempt at Oreo man bars, but after cooking them they turned into brownies.


“They’re ‘chocolate chip’ brownies…heeeeheehee”
– Leandro

How to make ’em

Start with some Oreos in a food processor.  I think I used 22 Oreos, and maybe 5 or 6 sheets of graham crackers?  Crumbs go in a bowl, along with a can of sweetened condensed milk and a teaspoon of vanilla.

After stirring and tasting, I realized that it was painfully sweet and needed something salty and bulky to balance it out.  Salted peanuts or pretzels would have been perfect, but I had neither.  But you know what I did have?



Mixed them until the chips were all broken up.

Still tasted better raw than baked

Next, into the oven on “medium-low” for 20-ish minutes.

The tops were crackly, and the texture was very brownie-like (albeit a bit dry because mine burned around the edges).  So sadly, these cannot be called man bars.

There was no potato chip flavor in the finished product.



Oreo Potato Chip Brownies (Weird)

And the Oreo recipe contest winner is…

After much poking and prodding, I was able to convince my family to enter my Oreo recipe contest.

The submissions:

Lara: Oreo balls

Mom: Oreo rice

Dad: “I do not know any Oreo recipes; I only know that you can take them apart, and stack up the centers into a huge giant stack of white stuff, which (it turns out) is not nearly as tasty in a large pile as it is when eaten between the chocolatey cookies.”

(Like this?)

Also suggested smoked Oreos and Oreo panini, neither of which I take as serious submissions.

Katrina: this participant submitted an original recipe!

I call it: Oreo zatar

  • An assortment of sweet, bready foods (cake, pancakes, muffins, etc.)
  • An assortment of sweet liquids, gels, and foams for dipping, such as:
    • Chocolate syrup
    • Whipped cream
    • Peanut butter
    • Nutella
    • Dulce de leche
    • Pudding
    • Mashed bananas (since I know you love mashed bananas)
    • Melted chocolate
  • Oreos, finely crushed

Arrange the sweetbreads (haw haww) on a large, decorative plate. Place each of your dipping liquids and the crushed oreos in individual ramekins. To eat, dip a bread product into the dipping liquid of your choosing, then into the crushed oreos before placing in your mouth.

(Click this if you’re scratching your head: this is zatar.  It’s an herb blend.  You dip a chunk of bread in olive oil, then dip it in the zatar.)

And the winner is…

You’re ALL winners!  That’s right, I will make all four of these delicious, healthy recipes on the blog.  Watch out for them in the coming weeks.

And you’ve all won a personal Oreo chef – though I think the only person who actually wanted to eat the recipe they suggested was Lara.

And the Oreo recipe contest winner is…

Liquid Salad (CRAP)

What to do when you have a toothache:

Go to the dentist.

What not to do when you have a toothache:

Put salad ingredients in the food processor and liquefy them, because you’ve been eating nothing but soft fruits and polenta since yesterday and you really really just want to eat at least something that contains vegetables today.


This was not tasty like V8, and it was still not fit for consumption in my condition because chunks of crunchy carrot and leathery tomato skins were still floating in there unprocessed.  Homemade vegetable juice sans juicer was a fail all around.

Maybe call it “salad gazpacho” instead?
Liquid Salad (CRAP)

The Worst Cake I’ve Ever Made (CRAP)


Ever since the resounding success of the chocolate mousse banana ice cream, I’ve been stockpiling mousse and pudding mixes in hope that I’d have another stroke of processed chocolate luck.  Today was not that day.

I decided I’d try out a flourless chocolate cake, with the batter based mostly on eggs and chocolate pudding mix:


5 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp instant coffee powder
1/4 c cream cheese
1 65g (2.3 oz) package chocolate pudding mix
3 tbsp milk
1/3 c flour

I started with beating the 5 eggs for about 8 minutes, until they were foamy and lightened.


See this?  It’s a cheap and sub-par replacement for coffee extract.  A teaspoon of hot water mixed with a teaspoon of instant coffee granules.


I added this, plus vanilla, cream cheese, and pudding mix, to the eggs.


It has deflated completely.  I guess whipping the eggs that long was actually a useless endeavor.  I probably should have separated them and whipped just the whites.

Test-tasting revealed that the batter was very thin and vomit-inducingly sweet.  I added some milk, and about 1/3 cup of flour.  My cake has lost its identity.  Now it’s just bad chocolate cake with too many eggs.

Oh no.  I bet it’s going to cook up like an omelette.  I should have put more flour.  And oil.  A lot more flour.

5:38pm: a foul smell is afoot in the kitchen.  This is what awaits me when I open the oven door:


The cake is pretty much what I expected it to be: gummy, rubbery, and fairly foul.

At least my new cell phone camera is pretty nice

Verdict: I should really stop making up my own recipes.

The Worst Cake I’ve Ever Made (CRAP)