Oreo Cookie Peanut Butter

This is going to be the only thing I put into my mouth until the jars are empty.

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Tastes like incredibly fudgy, chocolately brownie batter filled with crack and a satisfying hint of peanut butter.  This is more dangerous than Nutella.

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Ingredients

22 Oreo cookies (Argenfriends: that’s two of these)
2.5 tbsp peanut butter
~1.5 tbsp peanut oil (walnut oil or a neutral-flavored veg oil would also work)
2-4 tbsp milk (ideally not skim)

Grind the Oreos in a food processor until they’re nothing but tiny crumbs.  Then add the peanut butter and oil, and let the food processor run for an eternity.  Mine was going for about ten minutes, with interruptions to scrape down the sides of the bowl.  (Mine is a piece of shit, though, so yours might not take so long.)

The reason you’re letting it grind for such a long time is to get all the cookie crumbs smooth and moistened.  But even after ten minutes, the texture will still be very grainy and it’ll look kind of like a ball of dough rolling around in there.  Drizzle in the milk to help turn it into butter – start with two tablespoons, and if it’s still not as smooth as you’d like, add a little more.

Thank you, giant box of Oreos from Makro (a.k.a. the Costco of Argentina).

oreos from makro

Dear friends and family – what Oreo recipes do YOU want to see?

I’m so happy that you’re all a part of my life.  I’d like to make my Oreos a part of yours.

The box above contains 36 sleeves of Oreos (that’s 396 cookies) that are to be consumed before their expiration on July 16, 2016.  What Oreo snacks do YOU want me to make?

The winner will receive:

A personal Oreo chef!

I will visit your house and make your Oreo dessert for you.  I’ll also do your dishes.

Or if you don’t want a personal Oreo chef…

A memorable souvenir package of these Oreos!  (Warning: might be expired by the time I get them to you.)

Comment/email/Facebook me your idea.  Please.  Please participate.  I have so many Oreos.

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Oreo Cookie Peanut Butter

Liquid Salad (CRAP)

What to do when you have a toothache:

Go to the dentist.

What not to do when you have a toothache:

Put salad ingredients in the food processor and liquefy them, because you’ve been eating nothing but soft fruits and polenta since yesterday and you really really just want to eat at least something that contains vegetables today.

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This was not tasty like V8, and it was still not fit for consumption in my condition because chunks of crunchy carrot and leathery tomato skins were still floating in there unprocessed.  Homemade vegetable juice sans juicer was a fail all around.

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Maybe call it “salad gazpacho” instead?
Liquid Salad (CRAP)

Chocolate Banana Mousse Ice Cream in the Food Processor

Not to be confused with this banana ice cream, which got the “CRAP!” tag.  This version is delicious.

banana chocolate pudding ice cream

Reviews:
“That looks so good!”
– Lara

“I have six dozen bananas in my freezer”
– Momk2-_4ce57ad4-4132-4a42-92be-5cfab500e25d-v3

Ingredients:
2 frozen solid, very ripe bananas
Dash of vanilla extract
~4 tbsp instant chocolate mousse (or pudding) mix
2 tbsp heavy cream
1 tbsp milk

xjyemeiBanana tips for great success!

  • They should be brown and spotty when you freeze them.
  • Peeling frozen bananas is one of the most miserable kitchen tasks you will ever attempt.  So instead, take the peels off before you freeze them, and put the naked ‘naners in a freezer bag.  Really.  It’s worth the extra 20 seconds.

 

Procedure

Break up the bananas into chunks and deposit them into the food processor.  Run it on high just long enough to break them into evenly-sized, grainy, still-frozen bits.  No more than 5-6 seconds.  (The goal is to not let them melt.)

Add the rest of the ingredients and spin it on high until it’s the consistency of ice cream.  You’ll probably have to stop once or twice and scrape the sides of the bowl down.  As soon as it looks like ice cream, STOP.  Do not overprocess, or it will turn into a thick partially-melted smoothie.

Put it into a tupperware with a tight-sealing lid, and stash it in the freezer for 15-30 minutes to firm up a little.  I recommend stirring before you eat.

Chocolate Banana Mousse Ice Cream in the Food Processor

Banana Cream Pie

For when everyone is requesting one.

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Recipe:

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/12151/banana-cream-pie-i/

Changes:

  1. Replace pie crust with graham cracker crust:
    1. 1 1/4 c graham cracker crumbs
    2. 1 stick butter
    3. 1 tbsp sugar
    4. 1/4 tsp salt
  2. Add a layer of chocolate weirdness to the bottom of the crust after it’s baked and cooled:
    1. 4 oz melted semisweet chocolate
    2. 2 tbsp cream cheese
    3. some milk to thin it
    4. vanilla
    5. mix everything together and spread on the crust (without tearing it)
  3. Add 2 oz of cream cheese to the pudding while it’s still warm and stir.
  4. Don’t bake 15 mins at the end.  (why is this necessary)
  5. Whipped cream.

Photo arrangements by mom

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That’s cinnamon on top…not my idea
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Look at this plant!
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Top view – mom did not recommend this positioning but I did it anyway
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Oh no, we forgot to include grandma’s pie server in the setup!
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Let me play you a tune on my flute

 

Banana Cream Pie

Apple Pie Cheesecake

From Pinterest to your table.

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Reviews:
“Mmmm, it smells good”
– Lara

“Why does it smell like apples”
– Mom

“Fabulous and cracked”
– Dad

“Can I have another piece”
– Katrina

Ingredients:
1 block neufchatel
1 block cream cheese
1/4 c sour cream
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1/4 c maple syrup
1/3 c brown sugar
1/4 c white sugar
3 tbsp green bottle lemon juice
heavy pinch salt
5 eggs

Crust:
1 1/4 c graham cracker crumbs
2 tbsp white sugar
1 stick butter

Apple topping:
3 chopped apples
3 tablespoons brown sugar
big squirt fresh lime juice
cinnamon
nutmeg
10 cloves
handful of chopped pecans
2 tbsp white wine
1-2 tsp corn starch (if you’re in a rush)
2 tsp vanilla extract

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Tip: count how many cloves you put in the apple topping, because you’ll have to pick them out before you put it on the cake.

Apple Pie Cheesecake