Deep-Fried Oreos (and Other Cookies)

Six days later, my house still smells like fried food.

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It was worth it, though.

Step 1: mix yourself some pancake batter.

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Step 2: Oil-heating.  This is when it started to get stinky.

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The victims – about to take a bath in pancake batter.

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Time to fry.  I didn’t have a fry thermometer, so I didn’t realize how hot I had let the oil get.  (Probably why it stunk so much.)  I didn’t even have time to get a pic of the first batch frying because they turned black so quickly.

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Whoops.

The cut-cookie money shot is slightly less glamorous this way.

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On to the next batch.  I managed to get a pic of them frying this time:

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How cute

Second batch turned out slightly better.

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Next let’s try some chocolate Toddy cookies.

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The finished spread!

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Left to right: Oreos, alfajors, and more Oreos/Toddys

I had a little bit of pancake better left over, so I dumped it in the oil by itself.  It made an interesting shape.

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Fried cookies: a fun but smelly baking alternative.

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Deep-Fried Oreos (and Other Cookies)

I Baked Real Whole-Wheat Bread

Real bread, with yeast!  Not beer bread (though that one is not bad…but it doesn’t really count as bread.)

Recipe here.  I didn’t add millet, because wtf is millet, but that was the only thing I changed.

Step 1: bring the yeast to life in warm water until they’re “foamy.”

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This didn’t look “foamy” at all, but I proceeded anyway.

Step 2: add the flours + salt and place in an oiled bowl to double in size.  (1 hour on the counter.)

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Step 3: knead a bit.

kneaded dough
What organ does this look the most like?

Step 4: leave to rise one more hour.

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My dough is shy and chose to hide in the oven

Step 5: squish the sides in a bit, because you left it to rise way longer than an hour and it’s absurdly broad and flat.  Score the top.

risen dough
What protozoic organism does this look the most like?

Step 6: bake 30 minutes at “just below medium-high.”

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The fruits of my loafbor

And then you may eat.

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What I learned from baking real bread

There is a reason that the instructions are always to “cool on a wire rack.”  I let it cool on the baking sheet, and the bottom of my loaf is now mushy and has these light-colored wet bumps that look like blisters or some kind of infection.  Will not be showing the underside to anyone.

The wire cooling rack is your friend.

I Baked Real Whole-Wheat Bread

Burned Reubens

Happy Father’s Day!  Here’s a sandwich dad’s sure to love.

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It’s Cajun?

Ingredients
Rye bread
Corned beef
Sauerkraut
Swiss cheese
Thousand Island dressing
Butter

Put a frying pan on medium heat.  Assemble sandwiches thusly:

  1. Side A: first cheese, then beef, then sauerkraut
  2. Side B: thousand island

Drop side B on top of side A.  Melt a dollop of butter in the now-hot pan, and then place your sandwich.  It is advisable not to do this on medium-high, or yours will end up looking like mine.  (You will probably also get better results by cooking them one at a time – more even heat distribution = less burn potential.)

Cook for a couple minutes on each side or until they look tasty.

Burned Reubens