Oreo Walnut Brownies of Failure

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Last Saturday I decided to throw together a last-minute batch of brownies for Leandro to take to a cookout with “the guys.”  Both because I was in the mood to bake, and because I’m practicing being a good Armenian housewife.

I’ve been using the Epicurious Cocoa Brownies recipe forever, but have never actually followed their recommended procedure (which is to melt the sugar, butter, salt, and cocoa together in a saucepan before adding the other ingredients). I’ve always just done the wet + dry method.  So this time, I set out to follow the recipe instructions and see whether they come out any better than they usually do.

The answer was “no” and a bunch of swear words.

Reviews

“We are men, our comments are like Twitter bots…we just munch saying ‘yum.'”
– Leandro

Ingredients

See here, plus:
1 extra egg
3/4 cup walnuts
1 cup pulverized Oreo crumbs (like when you put Oreos in a food processor)

The afternoon started off well – I did a good job pouring the sugar.  Into the pot it all goes.

This was not. Coming. Together.  The cocoa was solidifying into chunks that floated in melted butter.  I don’t think sifting it would have helped.  This procedure is a giant fail.

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This is the vomitous base of my brownies, transferred to a glass bowl in the hopes that the extra stirring room would help it come together.

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It worked (kinda), but this still looks pretty horrid.  At least it’s mixed enough that I can add eggs.

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“All this chocolate sure smells nice.  Would be a shame if someone were to poop in the kitchen.”

By this time, I was frustrated and worried enough about the outcome of these brownies that I no longer cared to follow the Epicurious recipe exactly.  So I added 3 eggs, then the flour, and then some walnuts and a cup of pulverized Oreo crumbs.  The result was horrifically, cloyingly sweet.  Oops.

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Oh, well.  Into the oven it went.

They were extremely sweet and rich, but certainly not bad at all.  At least the crackly top came out nice.

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Verdict: Possibly suitable for 5-year-olds due to the extreme sugar content, but no 5-year-old’s mother would want their kid to eat this.  Probably would not make this again.  (Definitely not using this procedure.)

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Oreo Walnut Brownies of Failure

Farina With Katrina (And Other Food Adventures)

The horrors!!!

The return of Farina!

Ingredients:

1/3 cup Farina
1/3 cup water
1/3 cup milk
Pinch of salt
Maple syrup
Peanut butter
Cinnamon

Boil water. Mix in Farina.  Mix in salt & milk.

Eat with nostalgia.

We also went for cannolis, and discovered some shockingly, mouth-wateringly enormous and swirly peanut butter cups.

Kars bought me one, even though I told her not to, because she is a kind janitor.  ❤

Found in Boston: What a delicious snack!  Nasty black olives in a fruit cup!  Just what every eight-year-old wants in their lunchbox.

Farina With Katrina (And Other Food Adventures)

Baking With the Buddy Club: Michigan June Cinnamon Rolls and Cinnamon Muffins

Day 1:

Cinnamon rolls!  I missed my flight.

Day 2:

Cinnamon rolls!  I hope my friends forgive me for serving breakfast at 11.  (Also for missing my flight.)

At least the icing didn’t look like sickly nose mucus this time.

Reviews

This is Allen.

“Very good”
– Everyone

“This is the sugariest thing I’ve ever given you”
– Debbie, to Piper

“I beat my children”
– Allen

Recipe

Quick 45-Minute Cinnamon Rolls from the Recipe Critic

Nom nom nom.

Day 3:

Man Club went golfing, and we made muffins.

Ingredients

Don’t remember

Recipe

Don’t remember

How we spent the rest of the day

We relaxed after all our hard work, and extensively discussed farts.

 

 

Baking With the Buddy Club: Michigan June Cinnamon Rolls and Cinnamon Muffins

Milk Chocolate Sugar Pudding (Using 24 Egg Yolks in a Week)

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The past seven days have been a quest to use up a tupperware of 24 egg yolks before they went bad. I did it. Here’s the last thing I made:

Ingredients

3 egg yolks
1/4 c sugar
1/2 c milk
1/4 c low-fat cream cheese
3 oz chocolate
1 tbsp corn starch (if you need it)
1 tsp vanilla extract

Beat the yolks, sugar, and milk really well. Put it over low heat and keep stirring. (Do not stop stirring or you’ll get an omelette.)

When it gets pretty warm, add the cream cheese and let it melt (keep stirring). Add the chocolate in small chunks, a few at a time, stirring until it melts. Keep stirring until the mixture has started to thicken a little bit. If you need it, you can add some corn starch – it’s better to take it off the heat before it’s completely thickened than risk getting scrambled eggs.

When it’s cooled a bit, add the vanilla.

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Other things I made with 24 egg yolks:

Bread pudding in the microwave: D
Bread pudding in the microwave, second try: D
Lemon curd: A+
Vanilla ice cream: B-

Milk Chocolate Sugar Pudding (Using 24 Egg Yolks in a Week)

Brownie Vanilla Coconut Milk Ice Cream

It has arrived.

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It’s pink!

Remember when I said that I had big plans for Sunday’s brownies?  Well, this was my plan.

Reviews

“It’s nice”
– Leandro

Ingredients

400g coconut milk
1/3 cup soy milk
4 egg yolks
1/2 cup sugar
pinch salt
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tray of brownies, cut into small cubes and frozen overnight

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Coconut milk and soy milk go into a double boiler.

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Eggs are whisked and tempered with hot coco-milk.

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Add sugar and whisky whisky.

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Aww, look how cute they are.  Maybe I will keep them.

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Add vanilla once the ice cream base has cooled a bit.  Let it chill in the fridge until it’s really cold.

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After churning in the machine, ice cream will be at soft-serve consistency.  At this stage, frozen brownie cubes were added to the ice cream and it was put in the freezer to harden.

And the final result…

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Eaten while watching Game of Thrones.  What new adventures will my pink ice cream machine bring next?!

Brownie Vanilla Coconut Milk Ice Cream

Gluten-Free Brownies (Made With Rice Flour)

When one of your diners suddenly has dietary restrictions, new ingredients offer a unique excuse to bake more often.  “Got to try out this recipe before I make it for anyone else.”

You’ll need to make every new thing at least twice…three times if it was really good.

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Baked goods up the wazoo.  Today’s dish is a pan of gluten-free brownies, made with rice flour and adapted from this cookie recipe.

Reviews

“Chocosensational…they are nice and makes you fuzzy”
– Leandro

Ingredients

1/4 c butter, melted
100 g semisweet chocolate, melted
2 tbsp plain yogurt
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbsp espresso or strong coffee
1/3 c brown sugar
2/3 cup granulated sugar
3 eggs
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 c cocoa powder
1/2 c rice flour
2 tbsp corn starch

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Chocolate + butter
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3 eggs.  Why not.
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The rice flour…looks like a giant bag of baking soda.

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Such silky batter.  I knew at this point that the brownies weren’t going to turn out quite right, because brownie batter is not supposed to look like frosting.

Baked for 27 minutes on “medium.”

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Quite spongy and more cake-like than brownies.

Very fudgy, though.

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Yes, I cut out the middle piece because I’m an animal.

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Not bad.  I’ve got big plans for the rest of this pan of brownies.  Stay tuned…

Gluten-Free Brownies (Made With Rice Flour)

Deep-Fried Oreos (and Other Cookies)

Six days later, my house still smells like fried food.

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It was worth it, though.

Step 1: mix yourself some pancake batter.

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Step 2: Oil-heating.  This is when it started to get stinky.

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The victims – about to take a bath in pancake batter.

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Time to fry.  I didn’t have a fry thermometer, so I didn’t realize how hot I had let the oil get.  (Probably why it stunk so much.)  I didn’t even have time to get a pic of the first batch frying because they turned black so quickly.

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Whoops.

The cut-cookie money shot is slightly less glamorous this way.

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On to the next batch.  I managed to get a pic of them frying this time:

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How cute

Second batch turned out slightly better.

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Next let’s try some chocolate Toddy cookies.

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The finished spread!

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Left to right: Oreos, alfajors, and more Oreos/Toddys

I had a little bit of pancake better left over, so I dumped it in the oil by itself.  It made an interesting shape.

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Fried cookies: a fun but smelly baking alternative.

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Deep-Fried Oreos (and Other Cookies)