Deep-Fried Oreos (and Other Cookies)

Six days later, my house still smells like fried food.

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It was worth it, though.

Step 1: mix yourself some pancake batter.

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Step 2: Oil-heating.  This is when it started to get stinky.

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The victims – about to take a bath in pancake batter.

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Time to fry.  I didn’t have a fry thermometer, so I didn’t realize how hot I had let the oil get.  (Probably why it stunk so much.)  I didn’t even have time to get a pic of the first batch frying because they turned black so quickly.

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Whoops.

The cut-cookie money shot is slightly less glamorous this way.

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On to the next batch.  I managed to get a pic of them frying this time:

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How cute

Second batch turned out slightly better.

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Next let’s try some chocolate Toddy cookies.

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The finished spread!

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Left to right: Oreos, alfajors, and more Oreos/Toddys

I had a little bit of pancake better left over, so I dumped it in the oil by itself.  It made an interesting shape.

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Fried cookies: a fun but smelly baking alternative.

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Deep-Fried Oreos (and Other Cookies)

Oreo Cookie Peanut Butter

This is going to be the only thing I put into my mouth until the jars are empty.

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Tastes like incredibly fudgy, chocolately brownie batter filled with crack and a satisfying hint of peanut butter.  This is more dangerous than Nutella.

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Ingredients

22 Oreo cookies (Argenfriends: that’s two of these)
2.5 tbsp peanut butter
~1.5 tbsp peanut oil (walnut oil or a neutral-flavored veg oil would also work)
2-4 tbsp milk (ideally not skim)

Grind the Oreos in a food processor until they’re nothing but tiny crumbs.  Then add the peanut butter and oil, and let the food processor run for an eternity.  Mine was going for about ten minutes, with interruptions to scrape down the sides of the bowl.  (Mine is a piece of shit, though, so yours might not take so long.)

The reason you’re letting it grind for such a long time is to get all the cookie crumbs smooth and moistened.  But even after ten minutes, the texture will still be very grainy and it’ll look kind of like a ball of dough rolling around in there.  Drizzle in the milk to help turn it into butter – start with two tablespoons, and if it’s still not as smooth as you’d like, add a little more.

Thank you, giant box of Oreos from Makro (a.k.a. the Costco of Argentina).

oreos from makro

Dear friends and family – what Oreo recipes do YOU want to see?

I’m so happy that you’re all a part of my life.  I’d like to make my Oreos a part of yours.

The box above contains 36 sleeves of Oreos (that’s 396 cookies) that are to be consumed before their expiration on July 16, 2016.  What Oreo snacks do YOU want me to make?

The winner will receive:

A personal Oreo chef!

I will visit your house and make your Oreo dessert for you.  I’ll also do your dishes.

Or if you don’t want a personal Oreo chef…

A memorable souvenir package of these Oreos!  (Warning: might be expired by the time I get them to you.)

Comment/email/Facebook me your idea.  Please.  Please participate.  I have so many Oreos.

Oreo Cookie Peanut Butter

4-Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies

When you realize that the jar of peanut butter on your desk expires in nine days, the best thing to do is to drop everything and make peanut butter cookies in the office.  Your coworkers will love you (for a few minutes, at least).

I didn’t take pictures of the cookies because I was making them during a meeting, and I had to leave immediately afterward to go pay my rent, but they look kind of like this:

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Reviews:

work likes PB cookies
Look who’s in my profile picture (lower-right) 😀

Ingredients:
1 egg
1 1/2 c sugar
1 c peanut butter (we had crunchy)
1/2 c flour

Beat the egg and sugar together, then mix in the peanut butter.  When it’s thoroughly combined, mix in the flour.  (Combine that thoroughly too.)

Line two baking sheets with parchment and scoop out the cookies.  They won’t spread much.  Make them kinda thick.

Remember to press the telltale crosshatch pattern into the tops with a fork!  It’s what gives them that special peanut flavor.

Bake at 400º for 8 minutes.  They will be nice and soft in the center.

Makes about 20.

4-Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies

Cookie dough: Part II [UPDATE]

Remember my irresistable cookie dough dip?

Okay, so I attempted to “fix” the cookie dough by adding about three more tablespoons of brown sugar and a heaping spoonful of honey.  And I can kinda see how this could be good now.

updated cookie dough 2.0

honey

 

Okay, yeah…it’s actually good now.  It doesn’t taste buttery, but it sure tastes sugary.  The brown sugar and honey succeeded at making it cease to taste like chocolate chip bean dip.

 

Okay so…yeah.  I would probably make this again.

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Cookie dough: Part II [UPDATE]

Cookie dough you could eat a bowl of, but won’t want to (Crappy)

Interested in trying the world’s worst cookie dough?  Made with chickpeas instead of white flour and butter.  I subbed cannelini beans and was somehow surprised and disappointed when the “dough” tasted like bean dip.

I do not know what made me think this would turn out well.

cookie dough in food processor
Looks good, doesn’t it? Looks can be deceiving.

Reviews
None because I would not serve this to a human

Ingredients
1 can chickpeas, drained & rinsed (do not sub white beans; it will only prolong your pain)
two hefty pinches salt
3 tbsp rolled oats
2 tsp vanilla
3 tbsp peanut butter
assorted sugars…brown sugar, honey, and maple syrup
much chocolate chips

Put everything but the chocolate chips in a food processor until it’s smooth.  Taste and keep adding sugar until it’s sort-of edible.

food-processor
Why are all my food labels in Spanish?

Stir in the chocolate chips by hand, lest the only good part of your cookie dough dip be chopped to little tiny bits.

Eat some Milano cookies and S’mores Pop Tarts alongside the dip so that you can feel like you at least ate something that was good.  Don’t actually dip them in the dip, though, because that would ruin them.

milanos'mores pop tarts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fun fact: “Milano” means “1,000 anuses” in Spanish.

UPDATE 6.26: Click here to see what happens next with this delectable delight!

Cookie dough you could eat a bowl of, but won’t want to (Crappy)