I Baked Real Whole-Wheat Bread

Real bread, with yeast!  Not beer bread (though that one is not bad…but it doesn’t really count as bread.)

Recipe here.  I didn’t add millet, because wtf is millet, but that was the only thing I changed.

Step 1: bring the yeast to life in warm water until they’re “foamy.”

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This didn’t look “foamy” at all, but I proceeded anyway.

Step 2: add the flours + salt and place in an oiled bowl to double in size.  (1 hour on the counter.)

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Step 3: knead a bit.

kneaded dough
What organ does this look the most like?

Step 4: leave to rise one more hour.

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My dough is shy and chose to hide in the oven

Step 5: squish the sides in a bit, because you left it to rise way longer than an hour and it’s absurdly broad and flat.  Score the top.

risen dough
What protozoic organism does this look the most like?

Step 6: bake 30 minutes at “just below medium-high.”

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The fruits of my loafbor

And then you may eat.

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What I learned from baking real bread

There is a reason that the instructions are always to “cool on a wire rack.”  I let it cool on the baking sheet, and the bottom of my loaf is now mushy and has these light-colored wet bumps that look like blisters or some kind of infection.  Will not be showing the underside to anyone.

The wire cooling rack is your friend.

I Baked Real Whole-Wheat Bread

The Semolina Adventure

About six months ago, I came across this recipe.

Creamy Semolina with Roasted Mushrooms (click here for link)

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I knew semolina was a wheat flour used to make pasta, but beyond that, I knew nothing else about it.  So I decided that if I were ever to encounter semolina in a grocery store, I would give it a try.

Well!  At Carrefour today, I finally came across a bag of this mystical creamy treat.  How thrilling.  I decided I couldn’t wait on mushrooms and chicken to make the rest of Food & Wine’s dish, so I scaled the cooking instructions down to a single serving just so that I could try it.

semolina
Here it is, strategically smooshed between the chipa mix and bread flour

I threw in some cheese, and served it with some sliced avocado and cherry tomatoes on the side.  (No picture of that.)

semolina cooking
I ❤ trying new starches!!!

The dish tasted oddly…familiar.  The texture and color were really familiar too.  It almost reminded me of something I used to eat as a kid.

Could this be…

No.

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I must learn the truth.  Wikipedia?  Please tell me what’s in “farina?

Well.  That settles it.  I made farina.

Whoops.  At least I now have something new to eat for breakfast.

The Semolina Adventure

Cranberry Chocolate Chip Whole-Wheat & Oat Muffins

Now that I think about it, this is not really a healthy muffin recipe.

muffins baked

Reviews
“Delicious”
– Dad

“Does this have chocolate?  I gave some to the dog”
– Mom

Ingredients
1 c all-purpose flour
1 c whole-wheat flour
1/3 c rolled oats
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 c dried cranberries
1/2 c chocolate chips
3 oz melted butter (or about 1/3 stick)
3/4 c sugar, half brown and half white (i.e. 3/8 c white sugar plus 3/8 c brown)
1 egg, beaten
1/4 c plain yogurt
3/4 c orange juice

Preheat the oven to 400 F.  Mix all the dry ingredients together in a bowl, then throw in the cranberries and chocolate chips and mix again.  Set it aside.

In a second bowl, mix the melted butter with the sugar, yogurt, egg, and juice.  If you do not have orange juice, it turns out that random mystery frozen juice from an unlabeled pitcher will work just fine.  It smelled tropical, whatever it was.

loaves - unbaked
Loafy loaves

Dump the wet on top of the dry and MIX ONLY TO COMBINE.  Or you will be sorry.  Seriously, mix 10 seconds and it should be just right…a couple streaks of flour are nothing compared to tough, chewey, disappointing muffins.

Grease your muffin tins, fill them just barely to the top, and then bust out the random loaf tins because you have too much batter.  Be cute and sprinkle some more rolled oats on the tops.

Bake the muffins for about 20 minutes, or until the tops are springy and a toothpick comes out clean.  The loaves actually didn’t take any longer for me – probably because they’re pretty much the same width and depth as a muffin.

Do as we did and enjoy with Armenian coffee.  Bask in the happy sniffing faces of your family as they crawl out of their offices to find the source of that sweet bakery smell.  Today you will be everyone’s friend.

baked muffins in the tin
Such smell very taste

Adapted from food.com’s Cranberry Orange Muffins.

Cranberry Chocolate Chip Whole-Wheat & Oat Muffins