I Baked Real Whole-Wheat Bread

Real bread, with yeast!  Not beer bread (though that one is not bad…but it doesn’t really count as bread.)

Recipe here.  I didn’t add millet, because wtf is millet, but that was the only thing I changed.

Step 1: bring the yeast to life in warm water until they’re “foamy.”

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This didn’t look “foamy” at all, but I proceeded anyway.

Step 2: add the flours + salt and place in an oiled bowl to double in size.  (1 hour on the counter.)

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Step 3: knead a bit.

kneaded dough
What organ does this look the most like?

Step 4: leave to rise one more hour.

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My dough is shy and chose to hide in the oven

Step 5: squish the sides in a bit, because you left it to rise way longer than an hour and it’s absurdly broad and flat.  Score the top.

risen dough
What protozoic organism does this look the most like?

Step 6: bake 30 minutes at “just below medium-high.”

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The fruits of my loafbor

And then you may eat.

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What I learned from baking real bread

There is a reason that the instructions are always to “cool on a wire rack.”  I let it cool on the baking sheet, and the bottom of my loaf is now mushy and has these light-colored wet bumps that look like blisters or some kind of infection.  Will not be showing the underside to anyone.

The wire cooling rack is your friend.

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I Baked Real Whole-Wheat Bread

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