Chocolate Blueberry Cheesecake (Crappy)

competitors
The winner: apple-blueberry crumble with ice cream (lower right)

Third chocolate dish in a row.  This was for a baking competition at work, which was held in honor of someone’s birthday.  The requirements:
a) “Jared doesn’t like dulce de leche”
b) “Jared likes blueberries”

I am not fond of blueberry desserts, and dulce de leche is my secret weapon for making any dessert more awesome.  So I’m justifying my defeat by suggesting that this was a battle I just wasn’t meant to win.

It could also be karma.  I may have tried to “cheat” a bit by giving Jared of survey of my potential dessert ideas.  It looked like this:

Chocolate – yes or no?  (yes)
Cheesecake – yes or no?  (yes)
Coffee cake – yes or no?  (yes)
Cinnamon – yes or no?  (“meh”)
Lemon – yes or no?  (“meh”)
Danish – yes or no?  (“meh”)
Favorite Argentine supermarket cookie?  Toddy.

So thus my idea for a blueberry-lemon cheesecake danish went out the window and was replaced with a repulsively disgusting terrible idea: mix all the positive responses together in one dessert!  AND…to avoid the risk of overcooking the cheesecake, let’s make it no-bake!

blueberry cheesecake
Barfberry cheesecake

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!

I did it anyway.  What was I thinking.

Reviews
“What’s in the crust?”
– Archer from client management

“What’s in the marquise?”
– Kortney from HR

“What’s in the blueberry sauce?”
– Helen from sales

(**I think I got a lot of questions about what was in this because no one could figure out what the hell kind of weird creation they were eating)

The Horrifying Recipe

It’s this famous cheesecake recipe, with the following additions/substitutions:

Crust
Replace graham cracker crumbs with crushed Toddy cookies and graham-cracker-esque cookies

Filling
Add ~2/3 cup sifted cocoa powder plus 150g (like 1/2 cup?) of cooled chocolate ganache.  The result will be a filling that tastes like cocoa powder and not much else.

Blueberry Topping
Cook a pint of blueberries in a saucepan until they’re soft, then add about 1/4 cup of sugar and several tablespoons of lemon juice plus a pinch of lemon zest.  Then taste it and pucker because you added way too much lemon juice.  So balance out the lemon with some frozen emergency berries from the freezer (lucky save) and extra sugar.  It will taste weird but passable.

wrapped-up cheesecake
We’re all wrapped up and ready to travel!

Lesson learned: a recipe that works because of it’s simplicity will cease to impress if you try to make it more complicated.

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Chocolate Blueberry Cheesecake (Crappy)

2 thoughts on “Chocolate Blueberry Cheesecake (Crappy)

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